Couples Therapy Los Angeles

Does this sound like you and your partner?

Your misunderstandings are now resentments.

• It’s time to reevaluate your relationship.

• Something’s changed.

• There’s more bickering until one of you explodes.

• There’s more confusion and doubt. She wonders if he loves her. He wonders what he did wrong.

You keep waiting for things to get better.

• But here you are once again, tears streaking down your face.

• Locked in the bedroom as you hear the front door slam.

• He’s gone to get some air.

Every time you address this rift, the words get twisted.

• You find yourself stammering and backpedaling. Bringing up your feelings trigger & push him away.

• The more pain you feel, the more stuck you are, and the more resolve you need.

• You’ve been feeling alone in this relationship. You miss the friend and partner you fell in love with, the person you could talk to.

• Yet communication is hard. How can I reach them, you’re thinking, without it turning ugly?

• You want this relationship to work, to know if it’s worth saving. You don’t want to give up.

Relationships are hard. If you and your partner are struggling, know that you’re not alone—and that couples counseling in Los Angeles, CA can help.

Many couples struggle to break free from this cycle. You experience relationship distress, try to approach it in the only way you know how, and it somehow drives you both further apart rather than bring you closer. Thankfully, it is possible to find new, more effective ways of connecting. As a couples therapist, I’ve seen the transformation firsthand with my clients.

In relationship counseling, you’ll:

Start growing together again.

• Learn to move through the hurt and misunderstandings. Make an agreement to do your part – a necessary step in this process.

• Learn to be transparent and honest with each other. 

• Using a combination of proven methods, you’ll learn to listen, understand, and communicate your needs effectively, without devolving into an argument. 

• With extensive experience as a couple’s therapist and coach, I can help you untangle the pain that keeps you stuck in this cycle. And open the door to healthy ways of communicating.

• Together, we’ll cultivate the nurturing and supportive atmosphere in your home where you can both feel safe to be your authentic selves – even when things get charged between you.

• As you begin to understand the deeper dynamics beneath the disagreements, you’ll shift how you show up in relationship.

Develop true intimacy.

• Communication is what couples feel is necessary, and key in a relationship.

• But in actuality, “communication” is a byproduct of what naturally unfolds the more safe and secure you feel in your relationship.

• As you connect more with yourselves, you’ll understand and discover more profound layers of one another.

• Don’t be afraid to get clear about your relationship and clear about what you each need and want. It is possible to be happy.

• Help is here. You deserve a relationship full of a loving and harmonious connection.

Meet Kavita Patil, MA, LMFT, relationship therapist in Los Angeles, CA

As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I’m passionate about helping couples like you gain insight into relationship issues and find ways to strengthen your connection. Having earned both an M.A. in Counselor Education from New York University and an M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University, CA, I have a deep understanding of the challenges that romantic partners face—and how to help them.

Beyond my formal education alone, I also thoroughly enjoy learning about people and creating a supportive environment for personal growth and exploration. Working with couples is a specialty area of mine, especially for those that are stuck in cycles of codependency. It’s incredible to watch how unlearning these deeply ingrained behaviors can significantly improve a person’s self-esteem, relationships, and quality of life.

I also recognize that taking the leap into relationship counseling can feel scary, especially if this is your first time working with a mental health professional. It takes courage and vulnerability to open up this way. Maybe you’re even worried that you’ll never be able to change, so why even bother?

Know that these feelings are normal, especially for those of us who struggle with expressing our true emotions and make ourselves small in order to be “perfect” or make others happy. However, I’m here to reassure you that it is possible to step into your true self and build the kind of relationships you’ve been seeking.

The best part is, you don’t have to do it alone. I’ll be in your corner every step of the way.

My approach to Los Angeles couples therapy

While many of the couples that I work with have similar struggles, I recognize that each relationship (and person) is unique. Couple’s bring attunement when they value truth telling and co-commitments. My training has given me the ability to guide and support couples, and I recognize you as knowing more than you think. You may actually know how you feel, what you need, and what you value more than you let on.

During relationship counseling, we’ll talk about your experiences, fears, and goals. I’m here to validate where you’re at and meet you both with compassion. I’ve witnessed how creating this safe environment for couples can help couples learn and grow toward happier, healthier connections with themselves and each other.

I use a combination of different methods in couples therapy. However, these are the techniques you can expect to see during our work together.

Attachment-based therapy

This form of therapy is based on attachment theory, which suggests that the early relationships we form with our primary caregivers act as a blueprint for how we form relationships with other people throughout our lives.

When our caregivers can consistently show up for our mental, emotional, and physical needs, we’re likely to develop a secure attachment style. If our caregivers can’t show up consistently, we might develop an insecure attachment style. This can cause us to become distant and detached in future relationships. On the other hand, a person might be anxious in relationships and overly preoccupied with what their partner (or another person) thinks, feels, or wants.

In attachment-based therapy, you’ll gain insight into your own relationship patterns, as well as your partner’s. From here, you’ll learn how to shift these patterns and connect with each other in a more effective way.

Emotion-focused couples therapy

Attachment theory is also a core principle in emotionally-focused therapy. In this approach, couples therapists aim to help partners cultivate a secure attachment with each other. When couples have conflict, they might inadvertently engage in patterns that push them further apart rather than closer together. The goal of emotion-focused therapy is to help couples close this emotional distance.

Many of these behavior patterns come from a fear of vulnerability. Expressing your true emotions in a moment of conflict can be incredibly anxiety-provoking, especially if you didn’t have role models to teach you healthy conflict resolution.

As humans, we’re often worried about being disconnected from other people. Dealing with the sadness and loneliness that comes from isolation (whether physical or emotional) is incredibly painful. During therapy, you’ll learn how expressing your emotions can help you find a closeness you may never have thought possible.

Psychodynamic therapy

Psychodynamic therapy, a depth oriented form of counseling, taps into the drives that underlie your behavior. These drives and accompanying emotions often times lie under our conscious thought process. Yet, they can significantly influence how we act, including how we show up in our relationships with others.

While this approach is often used in individual therapy, research shows that it can be a highly effective option for couples therapy as well. This study with nearly 900 participants showed that psychodynamic therapy helped improved relationship satisfaction.

It might feel overwhelming to think about embracing difficult emotions, especially if you’re used to pushing them away. However, I’ll be here to support you both through the entire process. I’m committed to cultivating an affirming, nonjudgmental space that empowers you and your partner to be with whatever feelings come up.

Humanistic & strength-based therapy

We’re centered around embracing the unique individual you are and the relationship you have. These approaches focus on creating a safe space for you and your partner to be yourselves without criticism. While it’s fair to want to shift your behavior to find more fulfillment and connection, you must first accept where you’re at. This includes all of the ways that you have also contributed to the problem.

I’m a firm believer that each person (and couple) has innate strengths. Even if your thought and behavior patterns are no longer serving you, they’ve brought you this far. More than likely, they kept you emotionally safe in relationships where being your authentic self had real, negative consequences. Accepting who you are and the experiences that brought you here is an essential part of the healing journey.

If my approach to marriage counseling resonates with you, I invite you to reach out. I offer a free consultation to all potential clients as an opportunity to ask questions and get a better feel for whether we might be the right fit for each other.

Who my Los Angeles couples counseling services are for

As a marriage and family therapist, I enjoy helping couples navigate a wide variety of relationship challenges. Here are some examples of the types of issues we can work through together.

Codependency

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of codependency, it describes imbalanced relationships that negatively impact a person’s well-being. This may not mean that you or your partner is “toxic” or “broken.” Rather, it means that the relationship patterns you’ve learned actually keep you from having an authentic, healthy connection.

For some people, this might present as a tendency to grow cold and distant at the first sign of a conflict. For others, this could consist of intense feelings and a sense of desperation to stay connected to another person. Others experience both. Thankfully, couples therapy can help you unlearn these patterns and find new ways of connecting.

Premarital counseling & marriage counseling

Many people use the terms “marriage counseling” and “couples counseling” interchangeably. However, you don’t need to be married to benefit from couples therapy. I work with couples at all different points in their relationship. Whether you’re dating, engaged, married, or contemplating divorce, counseling can help.

I’m also happy to support people of diverse backgrounds, including those in non-traditional relationships. Furthermore, I offer individual relationship therapy for those who are interested in exploring their relationship patterns on their own. Learn more about my approach to individual therapy here.

Other relationship issues

Sometimes, the issues that couples face are obvious: communication problems, intense conflict, or serious life transitions that put a great deal of stress on the relationship. However, you don’t need to be at your breaking point to benefit from couples therapy. I welcome any couple who is interested in strengthening their relationship to reach out.

FAQs about relationship therapy in Los Angeles, CA

Choosing to seek marriage counseling is a vulnerable decision, and it makes sense to have questions about the process before diving in. Here, I’ve answered some of the most frequently asked questions I receive about working with a relationship counselor in Los Angeles. If you don’t see yours here, you can review more questions on my FAQ page or reach out to me directly and ask away.

Working with a couples therapist in Los Angeles, CA can help you grow together, not apart

Ready to discover how couples therapy can help you and your partner? Contact me to ask questions or schedule your free initial consultation to start the process. I look forward to connecting with you and helping you both heal and grow together.